Alex's Top of the Year Music List

2015 has been an incredible year for music, which makes choosing my top albums incredibly difficult. I have managed to narrow it down to 10 albums that have made a particularly strong impact on me, with a few eps and honorable mentions. So, uh, here we are:

Top Albums In No Particular Order

1. Kendrick Lamar: To Pimp A Butterfly

2. Courtney Barnet: Sometimes I Sit and Think, And Sometimes I Just 

3. Sufjan Stevens: Carrie and Lowell

4. Hop Along: Painted Shut

5. Beach Slang: The Things We Do To Find People Who Feel Like Us

6. Decemberists: Oh What A Terrible World, Oh What A Beautiful World

7. Father John Misty: I Love You, Honeybear

8. Tobias Jesso Jr.: Goon

9. Natalie Prass: Natalie Prass

10. Girlpool: Girlpool

Top EPs In No Particular Order

1. Diet Cig: Over Easy

2. Mac Demarco: Another One

3. Decemberists: Florasongs

4. Open Mike Eagle: A Special Episode.

Honorable Mentions In Every Particular Order

1. Eugene Mirman: I'm Sorry (You're Welcome)

2. Alabama Shakes: Sound and Color

3. Sleater-Kinney: No Cities To Love

4. Belle and Sebastian: Girls In Peacetime Want To Dance

5. Chvrvhes: Every Open Eye

6. Joey Badass: B4.DA.$$.
7. Eskimeaux: OK

Alex's Employee pick for Friday 10/30/2015: Beach Slang's The Things We Do To Find People Who Feel Like Us.

Beach Slang's The Things We Do is the music in your head that you wish shared with everyone else. Alex James sings with the honesty of a drunken confession, the wit of a shower argument, and the earnest energy of someone who is no longer afraid to yell those words sober and in person. If you're young and alive, or maybe need to re-learn what that means, pick up The Thing's We Do.

I've lost all faith in Lana Del Ray: a tragic story of love lost, betrayal, and the hip new kid on the block that's stolen my gay heart

Okay kids. So recently Lana Del Ray, wannabe crack whore and glam-pop star released a much anticipated album. If you are a Lana fan you can imagine my excitement- suddenly there would be even more of this lovely lady to listen to, however it was not to be.....

Do not be fooled by the lovely red, white, and blue cover art. Honeymoon, is a far fall for the redhead. It's like she was listening to sound music, Bond orchestral, and taking her vocal cues from Gregorian choir boys meowing when the inspiration for this album struck her. 

"Cute Choir Boys Meowing Soulfully" 

Now. I can't completely bash Honeymoon. It has some merits, I'm personally fond of "Art Deco" and the following interlude "Burnt Norton." But on the whole I've seen burnt tortillas that are more interesting than most of the rest of the album. I mean if you were going to get stoned to it (not that I'm promoting getting stoned, but to each their own), then maybe it would be okay. But from the woman who brought us this: 

"Blue Jeans" 

And Ultraviolence, with tracks like "Florida Kilos", "Brooklyn Baby", and "Shades of Cool"- to name a few-- 

I am vastly underwhelmed. 

But it does not do to dwell (but I'm totally going to anyway, because I feel personally betrayed by Lana), when there are much better albums recently released to be psyched about. I am of course speaking about Halsey, the beautiful blue haired angel that has graced us with her first big album: 

BADLANDS

Badlands is prolific, on several scales. The production scale to start. Not only does it have its own teaser trailer, which was released a few weeks before the album, but the videos that we've seen so far are stunningly beautiful: 

"Ghost" 

"New Americana" 

And the music itself is dynamic and edgy. It's fresh and relatable, And it's all distinctly Halsey. Her sound is unique and fluid, with a hard edge of truth and reality. If you liked Blurryface or American Beauty/American Psycho you'll love BADLANDS. 

  

Six SHOCKING Examples Of Brand New Band Jr Jr Stealing From Indie-Pop Legend Dale Earnhardt Jr Jr

Last week I discovered the band Jr Jr and fell in love instantly. I was listening to them all the time. I mean, how often do you find a band that's good at beep-booping and guitar?  And I was so excited for their album coming out on September, 25th! But then I realized how similar it sounded to my other favorite band, Dale Earnhardt Jr Jr. That's when it hit me, and boy was I floored. Jr Jr stole all of their songs! And even worse Dale Earnhardt Jr Jr isn't even on spotify or iTunes anymore, which must mean they were so hurt by this that they quit music altogether! I decided to compile this list of all the times Jr Jr ripped off Dale Earnhardt Jr Jr. 

1. Their Sound!

Just listen to that! Those beep-boops and guitars and heart melting guitars are classic Dale Earnhardt Jr Jr. They literally invented that music style. I tried to email Jr Jr's college professors to get them expelled for plagiarism, but professor@college.net kept coming back as some sort of mailer-daemon, which sounds to me like Jr Jr is also tied up in Satanism. I'm telling you, they are pure evil. 

What the Hell, Jr Jr?

2. Their Lyrics!

This is where the theft starts to get blatant. Jr Jr is stealing the words straight from Dale Earnhardt Jr Jr songs!

 Dale Earnhardt Jr Jr (original)                                                                Jr Jr (stolen)

Dale Ain't Too Happy Right Now

3. Their Album Covers!

Look at these side by side comparisons and tell me they aren't stolen! They just crudely photoshopped their names on! Jr Jr even stole the font!

Dale Earnhardt Jr Jr (orginal)                                                                Jr Jr (fake)

You think I don't see what you're doing, boy?

4. Their Name!

They thought they could away with something so heinous as stealing the name of an indie darling like Dale Earnhardt Jr Jr, but I noticed. I am calling you out, sickos. I am tracking you down and bringing you to justice. Just wait and see. 

You're getting what's coming to ya, Jr Jr

5. Their Band Members!

Here is where it gets truly SHOCKING! Jr Jr wasn't content just leeching off of the genius that Dale Earnhardt Jr Jr worked so hard to cultivate. They could have just stolen their sound, lyrics, albums, and their name and gotten by, but no. They had to steal the band members themselves. I don't know what kind of held-at-gunpoint stuff is going on here, but somehow Jr Jr is forcing them to perform like some sad group of organ grinder monkeys. 

Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on Jr Jr. At least they steal from the best. And now that Dale Earnhardt Jr Jr doesn't exist anymore, where else will I get my beep-boop/guitar/dreamy vocals that I love so much? I hate myself for it, but I might have to buy their new album on September, 25th. I hope the cashier accepts tear soaked bills. 

 I guess if you can't beat em, join em.

WARNING: Von's Records Does Not Accept Responsibility For Contraction Of Any Disorders Featured In Video

Unknown Mortal Orchestra - Cant Keep Checking My Phone

A Whip Ain't Complete Without An ION MaxLP

Ayyyy, muchachos. Doctor McNinja here. First of all, I want to start this post by greeting my legions of loyal fans in Florida who manage to have time to read my posts during their down time from fending off bath salts zombies, riding alligators, and staring longingly at your sisters/cousins. Just kidding Florida. We love you.

Anyway, on to the meat underneath my Florida-shaped bun. Recently I was ghost-riding-the-whip in my bitchin' 2003 Chevy Malibu (Check my post abou6t record releases moving to Friday to see it in all it's glory), when I realized I was missing something. Sure, I had  Owl Cities new album (my review: 12 stars way up!) blasting in said whip, but it didn't feel right. After punching a few nerds at Von's for information, they told me that State Street is a very busy road, I needed to stay in my vehicle at all times while it is in motion, and to stop crashing it into their building. That's when I locked eyes with an ION Max LP™ record player, and from there it was history.  I new that I wanted to be a vinyl nerd too. 

The Max LP™ has everything. A dope dust cover, built in speakers, and a wooden base than matches the paneling in my whip. But, man, I don't have $5k to drop on a record player right now. I just had neon underglow and a roof floodlight installed on my whip so I can ghost-ride at night. Wait a second, is that sticker right? Only $119.99? And there are other models for only $89.99? Well, good luck to you other suckers, because I bought three, And I bought three copies of that new Owl City album. Now I can have three records going at once while I ghost-ride, and I don't feel so empty anymore. ☻♥

**VONS RECORDS HERE. DESPITE DOCTOR MCNINJA'S "HELPFUL" CLAIMS WE DO STILL HAVE MORE ION TURNTABLES IN STOCK AS WELL AS CROSLEYS AND THIRD MAN RECORDS PLAYERS. COME PICK ONE UP TODAY! ALSO WE WOULD LIKE TO SINCERELY APOLOGIZE TO THE CITIZENS OF FLORIDA.**

Two New Singles on Heavy Rotation in the Von's Dungeon... Oops! Three! Three Singles!

Deerhunter - Snakeskin



Low - What Part of Me




Low- No Comprendre



Low's One's and Sixes wil be in stock and on sale on Friday, September 11.

If you don't buy it, people will talk.